Girl Talk #3

One of my coworkers who’s also my friend, Hortencia, struck up a convo with me one day while we were in the community making home visits. She asked me if an HIV+ woman had a baby, does that mean her baby will be HIV+ also? I told her it’s risky and definitely possible through the exchange of fluids inside the mom’s tummy and during child birth, but I told her it’s possible for an HIV+ woman to have an HIV- baby. I talked to her about being on treatment and monitoring one’s CD4 count and viral load…I told her if she had any more questions she should really ask a nurse and not to be shy to do so. And so my suspicions began that Hortencia may be pregnant.
On a different day…Hortencia told me that she has a boyfriend. He’s married and lives somewhere else but sometimes comes to Xai Xai…

Some days later…”Mallorina… I need your opinion about something.” I told her to continue. She continued to say that she doesn’t know if she should have a baby with her boyfriend. I said no. You already have four children and you are supporting them alone. Can you really feed one more mouth? She said here’s the deal, my boyfriend’s wife is already too old to have any more children. He only has 2 children with her. He thinks he needs to live up to his dad, who had 29 children with 5 different women. Keeping my cool, I asked her why does she want to have a child with him? I said, do you want to have a baby with him because 1.) You want another baby, 2.) Because he thinks he needs more children, 3.) Because you want him to help you financially? She said she wants to have another baby because she wants to have a baby with him. I don’t think my question sunk in. We asked our fellow Mozambican woman friend what she thought. She said she thinks Hortencia should just have ONE baby with him. Just ONE, she said. She asked me for my opinion. I told her that I don’t think she should make any more babies, and I asked her why can’t she find a man that’s not already married? She laughed. She said, well because I like my boyfriend. I told her there are plenty of available men in Mozambique that would be willing to have her. I asked her who would take care of the baby, and where would they live. She said she would in her house. I said exactly. Do you see that if you have a baby with this man, your life will become that much more difficult? I asked her how she would feel if she was married and her husband got another woman pregnant because she was already “too old”. She didn’t respond.

This conversation isn’t over with Hortencia. I will talk to her more about it again to try to challenge her thinking about the situation.