We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.

Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them.

- Mother Teresa

January 22, 2010

Unwanted attention or cultural exchange?

Not a day goes by where I don't get asked if I'm married, have a boyfriend, children, or if I would like to get married. I'm not writing this to make it seem like I'm getting harassed, but it is pretty much an everyday thing for me and it's made me become very assertive and direct in what I'm saying. After these situations I am able to say that I earn the respect of whoever started the conversation.

For example, my coworkers or whoever the person may be asking may say, "Mana Mallorina, where is your husband?" I say I don't have one. "Where is your boyfriend?" Don't have one either. I don't want one and I'm not looking for one. "That's not possible because you're pretty. You should marry a Mozambican so that you can stay here." I'll only be here for two years and I will return to America.
As I started my venture to come into the city to write this, I passed a group of young men. One of them said to me, "Heyyy white girl!" Excuse me, sir, you are rude and white girl is not my name. Call me Senhora. "Ohhh you speak good Port! I want to marry you." I don't want to marry you. Good bye. He then continued trying to talk to me, but at least he started to address me as "A Senhora..." which is a sign of respect when speaking.

Or sometimes I can make the situation pretty comical. A couple times men have asked me if I have a husband already, because they would like to marry me. I say, "Yes I do already have a husband. Three, actually." Oh, but do you have children? "Yes I have five children." Wow! Out of that stomach of yours? Then the conversation turns into us talking about where I'm from and why I'm here.

No feelings have ever been hurt. On the bright side: I'm being very assertive and direct in what I want and I'm not "beating around the bush."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mal: Your street-savvyness is impressive. Respect is important in EVERY culture. Keep up the great work!

Love, Dad